Back in 2008, there was somebody who I didn't quite like. He would often tell jokes which were immature, homophobic, racist, sexist or just otherwise offensive. As such I was venting about him to a friend of mine and I got a little carried away with my criticism. I started (quite rudely) to insult his appearance and described him as an ogre. I do realise that was quite childish and mean of me, but, I guess I just went a little too far since I didn't like him very much. Sadly, this friend of mine also happened to be a friend of his, and, I suppose through feelings of loyalty, felt that they had to tell him what I said. As I'm sure you can understand, he was more than a little unhappy with me when I bumped into him on the school field a day or so later.
"So, you don't like me then? Think I look like an ogre?" he asked me.
"Well, uh, yes, I guess so, sorry!" I replied.
"Well guess what? I don't like you very much either. It's about time I taught you a lesson."
He then picked up a huge branch from the ground and started swiping it towards me. Since I didn't want to get hit by it, I decided to grab the end of it and try and pluck it out of his hands. Unfortunately, he had quite a strong grip on it, and, with me holding the other end, he waved it (and so also me) around.
Once I'd realised that being swung around on the end of a stick wasn't the most effective manoeuvre, I decided to let go.
"Hmm," I said. "Where are Ben and Laura? They'd normally defend me in a situation like this."
"Well, they're not here. You're just a pathetic person who can't do anything without depending on other people."
He swung the branch and I narrowly avoided it.
"Yes, I guess so," I replied.
He swung again.
"By the way," I said, "have you realised the irony of this situation?"
"Well, you're offended because I said you looked like an ogre, but have you considered that using a tree branch as a club and attacking me with it is rather ogre-like behaviour?"
I suppose it's rather unsurprising that this made him even angrier.
After dodging a few more branch attacks, I decided that the best course of action was to run away. After I'd gone a short way, I was lucky enough to run into my friends Ben and Laura. He was a little behind me (it was probably hard to run so fast when holding a big branch) and so I decided to wait by them. When he did arrive, they defended me just as I had imagined: they were both friends with him and he obviously didn't want to do something so violent in front of them, so he put down his branch and I managed to successfully escape any harm!