(This week on my blog I am posting an entry every day, and each entry will be written by somebody other than me. Today's entry is written by Emma Darcy. Emma studies the same Creative Writing course as me at Bath Spa University. If you enjoy this entry, you may like to head over to YouTube where you can find her vlog.)

One of the reasons I love fandom so much is because of the huge diversity of relationships portrayed in the work it produces (mainly fanfiction and fanart). There is something for everyone, no matter what the kink. You want Arthur/Merlin? Not a problem. Asexual!Sherlock/John? We’ve got it covered. Gender or racebent Avengers fic? Sure thing. You want to see Harry initiate a consensual threeway relationship with Ron and Hermione? I can get you some of that. I could also find you some excellent genderqueer and trans fanfiction, not to mention the fantastic true-to-life BDSM fic I’ve read over the years. And that’s just the more niche stuff. There are plenty of simple erotica fics out there as well – porn with and without plot – and while romantic relationships make up a large portion of fanworks, there’s plenty of stuff featuring platonic and family relationships as well.
    It’s not untrue to say that many fandoms are dominated by slash (male/male) fiction, sometimes at the expense of the female characters. Fandom can also engage in ship wars and bitching sessions to rival anything on a celebrity gossip site, and it’s a fact of life that some of the fanfiction out there is just plain bad. I should know – I’ve written some. It’s rare that a fourteen year-old ever comes out with anything particularly wonderful, after all.
    But fandom is also a great place to experiment with these things. Fandom can be a place to discover whether you like the idea of Dom/sub interactions, or if spanking turns you on. Maybe one person patching another up in the aftermath of a fight tickles your fancy, or the revealing of an embarrassing secret hits your emotional buttons. Because it isn’t all porn, though of course a hell of a lot of it is.
    If you can’t find what you’re looking for, fandom is the best place to try writing some of your own. And if you feel like you can’t do that, there are kinkmemes where you can ask writers to fill your prompts. You can even do it anonymously if you don’t feel like attaching your name to a comment asking for someone to write a Snow White/Sleeping Beauty crossover with choking, breathplay, and orgasm denial, or for an exploration of the mother/daughter relationship of Rapunzel and her mother after they’re reunited in Tangled. Somewhere out there, there is a writer only too happy to fill that prompt, and a bunch of people who will read it and praise you both for your time and imagination.
    Fanfiction, and its sexual side in particular, has been thrust into the spotlight over the 50 Shades phenomenon. What people unfortunately don’t seem to realise is that there’s so much more to fandom than borderline dub-con het fic. Fandom can be the most satisfying and safe place to explore your own cravings and learn about other peoples’, especially the sort of things that are rarely, if ever, touched on in the mainstream media. Things like asexuality and polyamory, and kinks that are heavily shamed, like watersports and humiliation. I’ve learned more about people’s desires from fandom than I would ever have from mainstream media, and the acceptance and compassion in many of these online communities is simply beautiful.


Where to Go

- Fanfiction.net and AO3 (Archive of our Own) are great places to look for fanfiction. You can narrow your search by fandom, pairing, genre, length, and all sorts of other things. If you become a member you can subscribe to the writers or stories you like and even post your own.

- LiveJournal and Dreamwidth are blogging sites with ‘communities’ members can join and post in. Communities can contain fanworks of all kinds, from icons to fanmixes, and this is primarily where the kinkmemes can be found.

- Tumblr is a bit of a mixed bag that can have a bit of a bite on occasion, but as long as you’re sensible it can be a lot of fun.

Glossary

AU: alternate universe. E.g. au where Neville Longbottom is the chosen one instead of Harry Potter.
Beta: the person who essentially acts as a fanfiction author’s editor.
Canon: what has occurred in the original book/movie/TV show/etc. Facts of the universe as set down by its original creator(s).
Crackfic: fanfiction that reads like it was written while the author was on crack.
Crossover: one fandom’s universe crossing over with another. E.g. the Doctor flies the TARDIS to Hogwarts.
Drabble: very short fanfiction, similar to flash fiction. Usually under 500 words.
Dub-con: dubious consent.
Fanart: art of any kind with the chosen fandom as the subject.
Fancast: fan-made casting choices for characters.
Fandom: the community of the fans. There are different fandoms for different things, such as Harry Potter, Star Trek, Gossip Girl, and even bands like One Direction and Fall Out Boy.
Fanfiction: fictional stories set in the universe of a particular book/TV show/movie/etc.
Fanmix: a collection of songs chosen to fit a certain fandom, character, pairing, etc, arranged in album format.
Fanon: headcanons accepted by a large percentage of the fandom.
Fanvid: a music video of sorts of clips from a TV show/movie/etc.
Femslash: female/female.
Fluff: cutesy interactions between two or more characters. Doesn’t have to be romantic, but usually is.
Gary Stu: male OC who reads as a (usually poorly-written, but not always) self-insert by the author.
Genderswap/genderbending: changing the sex of a character.
Headcanon: fan-created events or theories that they adopt as canon without proof in favour or against it.
Het: male/female.
IC: in character.
Mary Sue: see Gary Stu, but the OC is female.
Meta: analytical, academic-style discussion or essay focusing on a fandom-related topic.
Mpreg: male pregnancy.
Non-con: non-consensual.
OC: other/original character invented entirely by the fanfiction author.
Oneshot: one-off fanfiction, usually quite short, not intended to be multi-chapter or part of a series.
OOC: out of character.
OTP: one true pairing – the pairing treasured above all others by a fan.
OT3/4/5/etc: one true threesome/foursome/moresome/etc.
PWP: porn without plot.
Raceswap/racebending: changing the race of a character.
RPF: real person fic, where the fanfiction is about the actors in the movie/TV show, not the characters they play.
Ship: a relationship between two or more characters. Can also be a verb, e.g. “I ship Dramione” = “I like the idea of/support/believe in the romantic relationship between Draco and Hermione”
Ship war: where fans of one ship engage in online warfare with fans of another ship. E.g. Aragorn/Legolas vs. Gimli/Legolas.
Slash: male/male.
Trigger warnings: warning of something that may trigger a negative response in a survivor of unpleasant experiences (e.g. rape, suicide, incest).
UST: unresolved sexual tension.
WIP: writing in progress.

This book isn't for me...
    The story follows the development of the relationship between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. Christian is into BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism) and Ana just wants a regular old relationship (something she's never had before, as she has never before been attracted to anybody). Once they've met, Christian just seems to be horrible to her 75% of the time and she spends a lot of time very upset by his behaviour.
    After about one hundred pages, they start to have sex with one another and, my goodness, I found this very hard to read. Some scenes in particular made me feel downright nauseous, for me, it was horrible. I found myself worrying every time they were alone together that, before long, they'd just be engaging in some explicit activity. On the other hand, if you like that sort of thing, maybe you should view this as an upside.
    Another thing that really bothered me was Christian. He is a terrible, arrogant, annoying person, how on Earth anybody can read this and find him to be an attractive partner is beyond me. Quite often he'll force sex onto Ana and, since she's so obsessed with him, she lets him do it. So, since she's so obsessed with him, she lets him rape her. Yep. The worst thing is, that it's never really shown in a bad light, he never seems to be condemned for this.
    The only upside, for me, was that there are a few sections of the novel where the two of them are emailing each other, and, in fact, they were quite enjoyable. Ana has more confidence when she emails and so is happier to stand up to him and criticise him, which is good. These email scenes are throughout the book too. Though, sadly, one time she's criticising him in an email, so he decided to come round for a little bit of rape. Oh dear. It's not the worst book I ever read, I did still want to find out what happens to the characters (and I wonder if I should read the sequels or not) but this was not good. Rating: 5/10

(buy it here)

(I wrote a fanfiction of the novel called Christian Learns a Lesson (warning, contains one intance of bad language), read it here)

(Laci Green made an agreeable video on the novel which I saw shortly after reading it, watch it here)

(I do not own the copyright of the cover image)

Back in 2007, a lot of people used to jokingly suggest that I was gay. In 2010 I'd occasionally get people asking me quite seriously whether or not I was, for example I once went to a party and made a new friend and she said eventually "So, you're gay right?" Now, in 2013, it seems that the Corsham teenagers cannot contain themselves when they see me and so find themselves shouting out derogatory words that connote homosexuality. If somebody knew my very well, they may be able to take several instances out of context and make a small case for my alleged homosexuality, for example:
- A male once made out with me (I was quite unwilling).
- I've had a male masturbating quite openly, only a few meters away from me (again, I was no willing part of that).
- I have quite an obsession with actor Richard Thomas.
- I once had a boyfriend (though for only a few minutes! Sheesh, that was a close one.)
and other smaller similar points that I'm may be forgetting (the heterosexuality list is probably even shorter). Just for the record, I am not homosexual, but I'm very curious to know what it is about me that makes so many people instantly think I am. It's not that I want to know so that I can stop doing it (I'd quite happily walk through the streets holding hands with a male and wearing a dress if I ever had the urge(not that somebody doing that would necessarily be homosexual)) but sheer curiosity makes me wonder what it is that brings people to these incorrect conclusions. It’s nice, in a way, that people don’t assume heterosexuality, but then again it’s wrong to assume any sexuality of anybody, I personally tend to make no conclusions until somebody tells me. But, yes, I’ve gone off on a tangent; this is just something I’ve been wondering about lately.

Just the other day, I was watching an episode of my favourite webseries, Jake and Amir. Currently, they are in the middle of a multi-part story called 'Double Date' and, in this story, there is a recurring joke which is really ridiculous. There is a character named Emily and several times they cut so that you can only see her legs and every time they use the unshaven legs of a man. This isn't funny at all, in fact, it is just offensive and sexist, boiling down to them basically just saying "Gee guys, wouldn't it be funny if a woman didn't shave her legs? Just like a man!" It bothers me because something like this shouldn't be a joke, it should be a perfectly normal and acceptable thing which some females happily do. It makes me sad that Jake and Amir, a series which I really like, should feature such ridiculousness. Plus, in reverse, a male who shaved his legs (or any other part of his body for that matter) would most likely have people rudely calling him 'gay'. But I guess it's just a product of our society.
    It seems to me that there are far too many objectionable things, such as this, that so many people in our society adhere to. I mean take, for example, a transsexual man; I can't imagine a man, particularly one of a rather masculine build, being able to walk freely down the streets wearing a dress without receiving all kinds of strange comments and looks. In fact, even somebody whose outfit deviates too far from accepted fashion would likely recieve similar treatment.
    Furthermore, how about revealing outfits? A female would certainly be branded with unpleasant stereotypes if she were to wear a revealing set of clothes, and males seemingly never wear revealing outfits (probably feeling that they can't). Now, I'll admit, I personally don't care all that much for revealing outfits, but I certainly wouldn't want to take away people's rights to wear them. It seems to me, that the only reason somebody would seriously object to revealing outfits is if they were unable to realise that the exposed human body is not simply an object of sexual desire, even nakedness can easily have no sexual connection. Anybody who fails to notice this, is much more deserving of those unpleasant labels than those who wear the revealing outfits (not that anybody deserves labels).
    But it isn't just clothes. What about lots of people's attitudes to sexual behaviour, the old "males can sleep with lots of people, and it makes them cool, but if a female does it, that makes her completely undesirable" why does it matter? Any person should be allowed to sleep with as many people as they like, without receiving any scrutiny. Sure, it WOULD be immoral if somebody took advantage of a drunken person, or lied to somebody to get them to sleep with them, but when it's two truthful consenting adults, who cares? It doesn't affect anybody but them. Not that I'm saying that everybody should be going out and having lots of sex, indeed, people should feel fine waiting until marriage or any other significant point with their partner, it is YOUR choice, and anybody who tries to tell people what to do when it comes to this should be ignored, it does not concern them.
    I'd like to follow that point by talking about virginity. I think, quite frakly, that the idea of viginity is something which should be done away with entirely, it only really leads to unhappiness. Either, people who have passed the age of consent and remained virgins will think "Oh, deary me, why am I still a virgin? I must be pathetic because nobody wants to sleep with me" or does who have lost it will thing "Oh no, I lost my virginity during a one night stand at a crazy house party, now I've lost my innocence! I must be a bad person" both of which will just bring them sadness (obviously). I want to say that loss of virginity does NOT mean loss of innocence! I mean, murdering somebody, raping somebody or doing very mean things to somebody could easily be called a loss of innocence, but simply sleeping with somebody? I don't understand who it equates loss of innocence: all it is, is, two people agreeing to take part in a physical activity, it does not reflect on innocence or morality at all. Is a murderer virgin an innocent person?
    Deary me, I've turned this entry into a rather angry sounding rant, and I do apologise, but why should women have to shave their whole body? Why shouldn't a man wear a dress? Why shouldn't somebody wear a revealing outfit? Why shouldn't people have lots of (safe) sex? Or none at all? I know of no credible arguments against any of these things. I had more points, but it was pretty long, so I left it at this. If this entry is popular, I might write them in future.

_

I've made this entry to clear up a few misconceptions about myself; as you may have gathered from other posts on here, there are a lot of things I choose not to take part in/do. Let me just list a few:
- Alcohol (and other recreational legal drugs)
- Eating meat
- Illegal recreational drugs
- Religion
- Sexually explicit activities
- Swearing
Now the reason I don't do these things is because I don't want to. If you're a carnivorous Christian who likes to smoke weed, while drinking alcohol at a swinger's party, it doesn't bother me. Just because I don't DO the things on this list, it does not mean I don't APPROVE. Let me go through each point individually.
    Firstly, alcohol. There are several things I don't like about alcohol: the taste, its effect on people and, well, no, that's about it. In the past I've been around drunken people a lot and it looks like one of the most embarrassing things in the world, to have yourself suddenly become so strange and erratic. I would much rather a drink a Trusty Water Bottle full of delicious water and remain perfectly level headed. As such, I choose not to drink any alcohol. Now, you might say "well you've never tried it, you don't know!" but I have tried it twice actually, and it wasn't very fun :(. Now, that's my reasoning behind not drinking alcohol, clearly it is all subjective, so why would I object to other people drinking it? I wouldn't. It would be wrong of me to disapprove of people drinking alcohol, because it is their free choice to do so and I would think it immoral to try and stop them. The same, as you can guess, is true of my view of illegal drugs. It would be wrong to stop people and prevent their free will. It may be against the law, but drug usage is perfectly fine in my eyes, so long as nobody other than the user is harmed.
    Secondly, eating meat. Since I was a child, I have been a vegetarian; it was the choice of my mother. Since then, I have decided to stay a vegetarian for two reasons: the taste of meat makes me physically ill, and I do believe it is moral not to eat meat. But that's my decision based on studying the facts about it, other people may study the same thing and come to a different conclusion. When I see a friend of mine eat meat, I don't see them as morally inferior; I just see that they have decided differently to me. It would be wrong for me to eat meat, because I believe it is morally wrong to, but it would be fine for somebody else since, by their own moral code, it is fine.
    Thirdly, religion. My view on the universe is this: there could indeed be some fantastical thing (perhaps God-like) behind all of the universe, but I don't believe that any of the world's religions (that I know of) are the correct answer and that science is the most likely route to the answer. After looking at all of the evidence, reading up on many different religions and philosophies from around the world and judging based on my own experience, I have decided this view is the one most likely to be correct. Other people have done the exact same thing as me, but to them it looks as if Christianity is the correct answer, or that Islam is the correct answer etc. I have no objections at all to people who follow religions and worship accordingly. Again, it would be against liberty for me to object to these views. However, having said that, I do object quite strongly to people who are taught blatantly false and offensive things through religion (e.g. anti-homosexual beliefs).
    Fourthly, sexually explicit activities. I have no desire to take part in these, so I do not. Anybody else, I believe, should feel free to take part in these and do anything and everything they like with any consenting partner (so long as nobody is hurt by them). That's pretty self-explanatory really.
    Finally, swearing. I get asked a lot by people if their swearing bothers me, and the answer is always no. Swear words are just words, and I take no offense at hearing them. I choose not to swear, because I try to make myself as inoffensive as possible and wouldn't like to offend anyone (I similarly do not blaspheme). How silly is it to object to people for just saying a word?
    I hope this clears up so misconceptions it seems that some people have about me. It also may be good to bear in mind that not doing and not approving are different things when talking to somebody with a different point of view than you. (Not to sound arrogant of course, I’m sure that point’s obvious).

One suggestion that's been sitting in my suggestion box (please put things in it!) for a while has been to write an entry about relationships. For quite a while, I just left it, because, well, I didn't really know what exactly I should write about it. But after talking about the subject with a friend of mine the other day, and thinking about it since, I decided that this could be a 'bloggable' subject. By relationships, I think I should mention before I continue, that I mean romantic relationships.
    My friend has quite a good point against the idea: most probably people would want to treat their friends equally, so why put somebody above everybody else? And I do believe this is a good point, it would be unfair to suddenly treat one person better than you treat everybody else. But at the same time, I do partially disagree. What if somebody does lots of nice things to you? Then it would be a little unfair of you not to return the favour. Well, that is assuming they're not some person who does things for you even if you tell them not too.
    Furthermore, while a lot of pleasure can be gained from friendships, the sad truth is that quite often, after a while, you'll probably find yourself in a situation where you can't see them regularly anymore. As such, you would have to develop new friendships and go through this cycle over and over again. In my opinion, it would be nice to have a permanent partner, somebody you always stay together with, thus ensuring some consistency in your life while everything else changes. Of course, this 'partner' would have to have been somebody with whom you had already cultivated a very good friendship with so that you can be sure you can trust them and every other important thing like that. I think it would be nice to have a long-lasting, close relationship with somebody.
    Of course, there's one thing I have yet to mention, something which is often linked with relationships of this kind, especially when it involved consenting adults: sex. Now, quite frankly, sex isn't something which is all that appealing to me. Should I ever get a partner like I described, I'd be quite happy for sex never to come up at all. However, this seems to be quite unlikely. If I did have a partner, and they wanted to have sex, I suppose I would for their sake. I'd see it as a favour to them. Plus it would be a crucial activity should children ever be considered.
    So those're my views on relationships. I suppose this may have turned out to be the most personal blog entry on here. Ah well, I'm not particularly bothered by that! And remember, put more things in the suggestion box!

_ (EDIT: Should you be new to this blog, I'd like to point out that I have changed my point of view on the matter discussed here. For a up to date look at this subject from me, click here. This entry now has no real importance.)


Well, I say this is 'urgent' news, but I found out about it before Christmas. At the time I didn't want to post anything quite as gross as this entry is going to be, as I was writing only festive themed entries, then after Christmas I was more eager to write some fresher blog posts, but now I'm finally getting this 'urgent' news to you.
    I was talking to my friend Dalfino over the internet and he, as he often does, moved the conversation over to the theme of sex (much to my disliking). Usually he just says things which I can just zone out or forget about later on, but on this particular occasion he told me something I really find rather disturbing. Something that has altered my worldview somewhat and something that has made me dislike nightclubs even more...
    It seems, that there is no such thing as an innocent trip to the nightclubs; people don't go there just to meet their friends, or to see if they sell pink lemonade. The only reason people go to nightclubs, Dalfino told me, is so that they can find somebody to have sex with! He introduced me to a whole concept called 'casual sex' which I'd honestly never heard of before, but which is apparently known to everybody... In the past, I'd always assumed that people went to the nightclubs so that they could drink lots of alcohol, and because alcohol makes you act silly, I thought they (rarely) had sex sometimes as a result of drinking it.
Don't you think that that's just horribly dehumanising though? When you meet somebody there you don't think "Hmm, they seem like a nice person, maybe we could be friends" (as I would expect you would) instead you think "Hmm, they seem like an attractive person, maybe we could have sex "? I mean, when this happens, both the people are using each other as a means to happiness and not as ends in themselves (moral philosopher Immanuel Kant would be just as shocked as me!).
    Ah, but I don't like to think about it too much, it's still a concept that I'm not used to. I did speak to Elliott Egan afterwards and asked whether he knew if any of this was true, and he told me it was, but not to the extent Dalfino had told me, that only the majority of nightclubbers are minded in such a way....
    Just a little request actually, could you please leave a comment if you go to a nightclub without looking for some casual sex there? I'd be most interested to see how many of you that'd be...