So, anyway, as you can see, I had one of the fanciest portable phones available (and it cost me a whole forty pounds!). Sadly, after owning it for two weeks, something bad happened. The phone was in the pocket of my trousers, but it was a pair of trousers I wasn't wearing at the time which was sitting on the floor and so I accidentally stepped on it and created a big crack in its screen. Some people suggest I go out and buy another one but, really? Who do I look like? This guy? So I kept the cracked phone.
Several months later I was sat in a Creative Writing seminar when I received a message from one of my friends. I took out my phone and started writing out my reply.
"Oh no!" said somebody next to me, "what happened to your phone?"
I explained the story to her.
"Oh dear," she said. "Well, don't worry you can have my Blackberry!"
This wasn't quite the reaction I had anticipated. "I expect you need it more than me," I said.
"Nah, I'm on contract, I'll be getting a new one later today."
"Well, I'm sure one of your friends is a bit more deserving of it than me," I said.
"Well your phone is broken, their ones aren't! Just take mine, it's fine."
"I'd really feel too bad taking it from you," I said. "You could sell it and get some money for yourself, or, as I said, give it to one of your friends who might appreciate it more. It was a kind offer, but I really can't take it."
And, with that, I had finally managed to dissuade her from giving me her phone. To this day my cracked phone has served me well.